The best away message ever:
"Today we salute you, Mr. Compulsive Away Message Checker. While most people are out actually having a fun life, you are at home reading about it on your computer screen. Right mouse click, Get Buddy Info, or the little Info box at the bottom of the Buddy List. You have people on that list you haven't talked to in years, but you still loyally read their away messages every day to see what they're up to (borderline stalking). So, crack open an ice cold Coca-Cola, Marauder of the Mouse Pad, and don't wander too far from your computer because you never know when someone's away message may change." ~Jeffrey's away message
And yes, I know that this means that I read people's away messages...